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Looking Forward to Looking Back

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Do you remember when you thought you might never breathe properly again? That it would always hurt? That you would always know exactly where your heart was located because of that incessant pain in your chest, lump in your throat and nausea in the pit of your stomach? Do you remember when you thought that life could not possibly go on? Heartbreak hurts. Whether it occurs in the form of the loss of a relationship, the loss of a person or the loss of something else one holds dear – it hurts. Initially it consumes...

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The “S” Word

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You’re new at this aren’t you I can already tell You do it so grudgingly Yet you do it so well You embrace it Feeling it deep within yourself But then you’re apologetic Retreating into yourself   You don’t do it often You shy away from it too You try not to do it Saying ‘it’s just not "you"’ But you have to do it first You have to do it too You can’t always wait For others to do it to you   It’s impossible to do it too much Go crazy, let loose It’s not about anyone else You are doing it for you!   You look so uncomfortable When others do it to you But then I...

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Mind the Gap (between) Life & Death

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A heart-wrenching scream escaped from her lips as she crumbled to the floor. She could not tell if her legs had given way or if she had landed there on purpose. Her phone, the culprit, lay discarded beside her, screen cracked and a flickering ominous blue light in place of her screensaver. She did not care. She pushed it under the edge of the black velvet couch and held her heavy head in her feeble hands. He was dead. He was gone. Someone, she could not even remember who, had just called to confirm. She had...

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Deserted in the Oasis (Part 2)

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The sun was high in the sky by the time Jasmine regained consciousness. She sat up slowly squinting while she rubbed the sand grains off her face and forearms. She looked around again, dismayed that all her hard work over the last week had been ruined by what was indeed a sandstorm. The temporary shelter she had erected was  scattered everywhere, sand grains had encroached on the space she had meticulously cleared and swept and most importantly that which she had feared had come upon her.   When Jasmine had seen five horses carrying men wearing white robes with...

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When Death Stole The Sun

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  I thought I was numb I thought I was strong I thought it didn’t matter What was done   Death was the new norm People died Death was part of life As certain as the tide   But then death took The One Then death took The Sun Then death took Him Who was Second To None   He told me: “Many are the pains of a man’s heart but God’s will be done” He was the Sun   He told me: “If the price I have to pay to smile is a little sadness then it’s not so much to pay right?” He was the Sun   He told me: “Anyone with a good understanding of who God...

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Once Upon a December’s End (Part 3 of 3)

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As I descended from the plane my tummy tightened. His butterflies were on speed; weaving and bobbing all in my belly. Anton had asked me to send my flight schedule and even though it had been 7 years I knew him well enough to know he would want to be involved in my arrival somehow. He liked to control situations and create moments. It was one of the things I first loved and later hated about him. As I got my travel case from baggage claim, I laughed as I heard Michael’s voice teasing me...

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Once Upon a December Too

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"Bubbles lets have a fresh start. I'm going to come in a day early for the reunion. We really have a lot to talk about. And decide."   I shook my head to still the frantic butterflies and began to think back on how far we had come. Or rather, how far I had come since Anton. My mind went back to when we first met…   It was the summer of 2006 and I decided to do summer school instead of heading off to Europe with my friends. That was when I met him. Best and worst decision...

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Once Upon a December (Part 1)

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December's phone vibrated in her bag. Two sharp vibrations. This was the notification she had set for her old personal email. She barely got messages on there after all. With an address like 'DecemberDarling1906@me.com' she didn’t expect messages from there. She had come a long way since her childish carefree teenage years where she dotted her i's with hearts and used playful terminology across social media platforms.   She adeptly maneuvered her SUV into her parking space in front of her apartment complex, put the car in park, and fished into her dark leather tote bag. She...

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Teaching Women to Aspire to Marriage

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'Be strategic about your dreams Don’t just wake up and start doing anything You must dream with your future in mind You must consider everything How does a husband fit into this? And what about your kids? You must ask yourself these questions Before you begin to dream   You must dream responsibly You cannot simply do what you like Don’t undertake anything That will sabotage you becoming a wife   Are you sure you want to be a pilot? You will always be flying around How can you run the race? When your feet are never on the ground? Where will the man even see you When you’re always on the fly? And even...

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Till Death Do Us Part (3 of 3)

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The church was beautifully decorated. The white and pink lilies strewn all down the aisle filled the air with a sweet scent. The pews were filled with loved ones and friends. The piano played softly in the background.   I held my long flowing gown in my right hand and the cordless microphone in my left. My eyes welled with tears. I was overcome with emotions. I looked out at the sea of guests, dressed in pale pretty colors. I let my own lilac dress pool around my feet as I used the back of my hand...

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