Do you know that not everyone believes in your dreams? Do you know that either actively or passively there are people whose very presence chips away at your visions and aspirations? Do you know that while you might have started off planning to construct a castle the negative influence of others can scale it down to a dilapidated hut? Do you know that what you hear affects what you see and what you do? Do you know that where you cast your vision verbally affects when and how you implement it? Do you know it is your responsibility to be careful little ears what you listen to?! Who has your ears? What are you listening to? Where is your focus? Who are you allowing to chip in and chip away at your dreams, plans and passions?
Contemporary society seems to have a fixation on this tribe of people who are called ‘haters.’ Haters speak a language laced with negativity. Their public holidays and celebrations occur on any and every day when things have not worked out as planned in your life. They often dress in sheep’s clothing but their DNA is that of wolves. Their diet consists of eating their competition alive. They do not coexist in peace and harmony; rather they tear you down in big and small ways. There is no neutrality in them, not when it comes to you. You may understand that life is not a competition and we each run our own race, but they could care less. They are interested in tripping you up and slowing you down. Sometimes they lurk in the shadows and other times they hide in plain sight, but essentially their aim is to kill, steal and destroy your dreams. We seem to have an increasing obsession with this species known as haters and it is wasting our time and our energy that would be better spent executing our dreams.
For some reason we are bent on knowing who our haters are, what they are saying, what they are planning, what they think about our thoughts and what they feel about our plans. They seem to be woven into the very fabric of our aspirations and sketched into the blueprint of our dreams. Many people fail to speak about their plans, their challenges, their achievements and their drive without crediting, calling out or chastising this tribe of people known as haters.
You hear people who are overcoming amazing odds and sprinting towards their goals pausing to thank their haters. You see people angrily pecking away on social media attacking, addressing or passively aggressively appreciating this group of people. You see “friends” carrying news back and forth on what someone who is a hater had to say about your plans, pitfalls and peaks. Then you both spend time dissecting the hater’s intentions and being disgusted that they would waste so much of their time on you – while wasting so much of your own time on them!
I am here to tell you that it is time to forget the haters! It does not matter who is not for you. The only person who needs to be for you is yourself. It is good and wise that you have developed the skills to discern those who celebrate when you fall, trip you midstride and wish the worst for you, but this is where the relationship should end. Do not share your vision with haters, or with the dispatch riders who travel back and forth between your camp and that of your haters to tell you what is going on. Do not spend your time trying to prove your haters wrong or rubbing your success or insightful ideas in their faces. The only time that should be allocated to your haters is in deciding how to separate yourself from them (depending on the complexity of the relationship) and ensuring that you are discerning in the things you say and share when around them. It is also essential to limit the time spent with them.
Do not calculate your moves with your haters in mind. Do not temper your passions because you fear the ridicule or negativity your haters might respond with. Move away from your haters, expand your dreams, feed your positivity, fuel your passion and fight for that better existence you see. Whoever is out there feeling negative towards you is none of your business. Those negative vibrations have no place getting past your force field. The danger lies in being neutral towards your haters and passive about your passions. Then you run the risk of letting in those who only want to delay you, distract you, discourage you and ultimately destroy you.
The cheap sayings are inconsequential. You do not in fact need more haters. You do not need to count them or name them one by one. Acknowledgment of haters is not synonymous with arrival. Focus! You do not need to engage at all.
Dreams are like seeds. They must be planted in fertile soil. They require being tended to. The land around the seeds you plant must be watered and weeded. Your haters are the weeds – pluck them out and throw away and do not spare them another thought. They have no place in your land. The longer you ‘check for them’ the more you till their soil along with your seeds, the more you provide the necessary light and nutrients for their growth. These resources are scarce. Save them for your own crops. Be careful little ears what you listen to – whatever is noble, beautiful, profitable for your passions and positive – listen to that! Whatever is not – mute it.