to top

Eenie Meenie Miny Me!


The invitations are out
The firewood is in
She’s bout to lay down
So please come in
Come with your needs
Come with your wants
Make sure you come needy
Because she can only do this once


Gather around
Make sure you are alert
Get ready to take your pound of flesh
She knows it will hurt
She’s braced herself
She’s ready for the final fall
So come one
Kindly come all


You can arrive whenever
She will never say ‘no’
As long as she can respond
There’s still a chance to catch the glow
Have a seat
Or stand up close
Livestream on social media
Anything goes


The bonfire will be large
It shall be a blaze of glory
Cuz she’s throwing everything on the altar
It might get a little gory


Her hopes are there
You’ll find parts of her dreams too
Her half finished stories
And certificates old and new
Who is she kidding?
There is no “new”
It’s been a while she did something
That was in line with what she planned to pursue
Her vision board is rusted
Vision? She can barely see
Her to-do list is less than half done
She’s deleted the word “me” from her vocabulary


Too much unfinished business swarming in her head
That’s why she decided to just throw a bonfire instead!


She’s made too many promises
In the midst of her mess
She should have said she couldn’t commit
But every single time she said YES
And when it seemed she couldn’t meet everyone’s demands
She gave up on her  own
Perhaps if she sets herself on fire
They can bask in her glow


You might be impressed
By the bonfire’s size and it’s might
You might wonder how she did it
It didn’t happen overnight


Every time she refused to prioritise
Every time she refused to self-invest
Every time she didn’t say ‘no’
And for every single ‘yes’
Every time she gave up her seat at the table
And sat on the ground
Every time she let others control her time
She seasoned herself for the grill, pound for pound


She refused to be responsible
She refused to be wise
She refused to see the bigger picture
She said ‘no’ to her own life
She refused to be disciplined with her time
She refused to prioritise
Her intentions were good
But her method was insane
She gave away her foundational bricks
And had to start the building again


But she never took the time to put up the structure
She continued to give all of herself away
She continued to turn her site into a soup kitchen
Giving away items that could have waited for another day


Every time she said ‘no’ to self
And was everyone else’s ‘yes’
That’s how her dead wood grew
That’s why her bonfire will be huge


When she should have grown – she shrunk
When she should have blossomed – she wilted
When she should have airplane moded – she answered
She continued to take on more
And became less and less
She continued to be a solution
Whilst increasing her own stress
When she should have held on – she gave in
When she should have focused – she saved…
Everyone else but herself
When they didn’t even really need saving


Most of those incidents weren’t emergencies
Just others prioritising themselves
And that’s all fair and well
Truth be told – she created her own hell


Rather than break her spine
She should have taken a page out of their book
She would have been of more value to all
If she had taken the time to look
And realise her supply was running low
And her resources were almost depleted
Her tank was practically on ‘E’
She hadn’t learned exercising self love is not being conceited


Instead she continued to rip out her pages
So they could scribble their ideas
And continued to tear herself apart
Just to assuage irrational fears
Now her planner is pageless
There’s nothing more to pour
Her cup is empty
There is literally no more
So she’s setting herself  on fire
And hoping the flames and embers
Will keep someone else warm


She was loving others as she ought to love herself
But she forgot to love herself too
Now she’s given all she has
And her ‘useful’ days are through
How come no one told her?
The season of sacrificial lambs have come and gone
Remember what anonymous said:
‘You cannot light yourself on fire to keep others warm.’


Pick yourself this year. Pick yourself this season. Pick yourself today. No matter your life philosophy one of the best ways to be of service to others, fulfil your obligations and accomplish your goals is to pick yourself.  As we strive to be better more rounded people we often promise that we will become more compassionate, become more available and give more of ourselves – time, effort, finances, etc. While this is all laudable, if we have not picked, invested and bettered ourselves we will soon burn out from being there for others and never being there for ourselves. If we don’t put anything in to ourselves we end up exhausting our resources to the point where we are of no use to anyone. Balance is beautiful and balance is key; eenie, meenie, miny, me!


In 2018 continue to give, but first and also plan, execute and refuse to be executed by lack of prioritising self and  dreams. Eenie, Meenie, Miny, Me! That’s right – me! Pick yourself first sometimes. If you’re always last you won’t last, and if you don’t sow you won’t have harvest to reap for yourself and others.


Imagine Oprah’s capacity to give. There’s nothing we haven’t seen people freely receive on her show. If she gave every little bit of her time, her finances and her effort to everyone that wanted a piece of her (during the come up and even now) she would not be the whole, healthy, wealthy, wise person that is able to make deep and actual impact. Examples abound of other phenomenal givers who have also achieved sustainable balance. There’s always someone that needs something big or small from you – that’s why you need to plan your time, plan your finances, and plan your future.


Do not be a reckless giver who gives both your seed and your bread and has nothing to plant. This will be to the detriment of yourself and others in the long term. It is good to pick calls, to solve problems and to be loving, kind and dependable but you must also be wise. Your desire might be to provide shelter and solace but if you have not invested in yourself to the point where you are somewhat stable and flexible your reach is very limited and the temporary structure may come down on all your heads. To make a greater impact and to have more resources to channel towards your causes you have to build yourself up, fill yourself up and pour out of the abundance of capacity, stability and self value. And last but not least, listen to yourself. When you feel your resources and you’re nearing E, (whether physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.) be sure to retreat to a place where you can fill up again.



Zeni St. John

Leave a Comment