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The Waiting Room

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Sometimes we are on the fast track. Sometimes we are in advancement mode. And sometimes things are plain slow.

 

Do not get discouraged or despondent when you are in the waiting room. Yes, you might not be able to see much changing around you, but there’s always an opportunity to look within and nurse the next big idea, discover more about the gem that you are, and decide what your next step will be.

 

Even when you are waiting for a response to an application, an offer for a position, feedback on a proposal, etc. there’s always a reason to hold on to hope because there is always something that is within our control. We always have the opportunity to stay positive, to grow and to develop parts of ourselves.

 

This is for those who need some encouragement to use your time in the waiting room wisely. Before you know it you will be up and about again, let the time spent waiting not be time spent idle, depressed, stressed, or berating yourself and seeing less than your true potential.

 

 

It’s dark in here

I cannot see

The air is still

It’s hard to be

How does one sit tight?

When one is used to doing?

How does one wait?

When one is used to pursuing?

How does one ask?

When one is used to giving?

How does one pause?

When one is used to living?

 

 

It’s dark in here

I cannot see

I am not sure

What the future holds for me

I’ve done my part

I’ve played my role

And now I can’t seem to advance

Towards my goal

 

 

‘What do you do?’

I can tell you what I’ve done

‘What are you achieving?’

I can tell you what I’ve won

‘Where is your office?’

I can tell you about my home

‘What did you study?’

Wait, I have an answer for this one

‘What’s your growth strategy?’

Can one grow from a place of stagnancy?

‘Who are your colleagues?’

If it’s all the same, it’s just me.

‘Who else is in your class?’

I haven’t heard back on the application

‘What clients have you secured?’

We’re not that far into the negotiations

‘Who have you styled?’

My clothes are still on the rack

‘Who have you shot?’

My camera is still in the back

‘Who have you written for?’

They are yet to speak my words

‘Who have you worked with?’

Why? What have you heard?

 

 

It was dark inside

I could not see a thing

The air was still

Nothing was moving

I sat very still

Then started moving against my will

A sound afar off

Was the diagnosis in?

A bump in the corner

Was someone looking for me?

A ding on a computer

Had they replied to my inquiry?

A vibration of a phone

I hurriedly check my caller i.d.

 

 

I squinted even harder

Trying to see

I stretched out my limbs

Trying to be

I did not feel like me

I could not see me

I did not have the answers

And this consumed me

 

 

Who am I without a title?

Where am I without a daily destination?

How do I add to the conversation?

When all I spoke about was my occupation

In this entirely new situation

One thing is certain –

I’m fading

I need resuscitation

 

 

I cannot see

I cannot see

If I cannot see me

Then how can I be me?

It’s too dark to see my degree

It’s too still to hear my job title

It’s too quiet to remember my identity

I must simply just ‘be’

I must try and discover me

Me without the add-ons

Who am I really?

I closed my eyes and looked inwards

Since try as I might I couldn’t see

 

 

Then I noticed the light is just right

To connect with my soul

And it’s quiet enough

To still focus on my goals

And it’s isolated enough

To try and be bold

And it’s early enough

To realize I’m not too old

Take away the titles

And I’m still left with my plans

Take away the accolades

And I am still who I am

Take away the frills

And I’m content with my content

I have breath

I have life

I will live

I give my own consent

 

 

I have hopes

And I dream

I may not be seen

But I can still see

 

 

I may not be soaring

But I am still me

I still have wings

I will fly freely

 

 

A few bruises and burns

But ashes are best to fertilize

I still have wings

I open my eyes

I let out a sigh

Still I rise

 

 

Zeni St. John

  • Odochi

    This is so beautifully written. Thank you Zeni.

    May 10, 2017 at 11:34 am Reply
  • Sekyen

    Lovely indeed!

    May 12, 2017 at 7:05 am Reply

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