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P.S. I Love You

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I circled back to you

And you were just as beautiful as when I first laid eyes on you

My chest constricted with guilt

How could I have abandoned you?

My heart sagged with regret,

How could I ever forget?

How alive you had made me feel

All the important things you had revealed

How important you have always been

How much I loved you, even then.

.

.

.

But I was busy…

But I was tired…

But I was conflicted…

But I was restricted

But I was going through a challenging time…

But I had other things on my mind…

But I figured you would be just fine…

But I underestimated the lapsed time…

But I was uninspired…

But I had lost my fire…

But when I finally circled back to you…

I realized

You are my desire.

.

.

.

I circled back to you

And pretended I had never left

Pretended I hadn’t heard you calling out

Pretended I was not bereft

I circled back to you

Calculating how much time had passed

How you had changed since I’d seen you last

How you had deteriorated and regressed

How you looked so much less

Than when I left

As I circled back –

I wept.

.

.

.

I circled back to you

And I debated

How to approach you

How to touch you

How to make it up to you

How to build you back up

How to clean you right up

How to strengthen your weakened joints

How to coerce you back to the point

How to get us back on track

How to make up for the past

How to tighten the slack

How to win you back

.

.

.

I circled back to you

And realized I had never left you

I carried you inside

I held you close with pride

But you were unaware

Because I showed you no care

It was not obvious

Because I was simply not there

You were abandoned

You were not taken care of

You were discarded

And I am the only one to blame

My dearly departed

Please let me try again

.

.

.

I know I closed my ears to your call

But you’ve always been the apple of my eye

I know I acted like you did not matter at all

But PS I love you – this is not a lie

.

.

.

I began to think of all my plans

Everything I wanted to do to you

I began to caress the vision in my hands

And you did what you always do

You presented yourself

Not holding anything back

You opened up to me

And I could see a future, past the past

My heart leapt

As I realized

You were still mine

You had only been confined

Because I kept you confined

But you reassured me

There is no time

Like the present time

You are still mine

There is still time

You remain divine

.

.

.

My dream deferred

I’m back again

My dream deferred

Let’s try again

My dream deferred

I will do my best

My dream deferred

This is not a test

My dream deferred

Let me in

My dream deferred

Knock knock, ring ring

My dream deferred

It’s me – Zen

.

.

.

My dream deferred

Let me caress your rubble

My dream deferred

Let me stroke your pieces

My dream deferred

Let me put you back together

My dream deferred

We belong together

My dream deferred
I will be more disciplined

My dream deferred

Please let me in

My dream deferred

I want this for us

My dream deferred

I’m ready to pay the cost

My dream deferred

I’m ready to work

My dream deferred

I’ll do overtime no pay

My dream deferred

I won’t let anything get in our way

My dream deferred

I draw a line in the sand

.

———————–

.

You will no longer be referred to

As ‘deferred’

For now I defer to you

And you take pre-eminence

You’re that important

And with my new found focus

You are imminent

.

.

.

Dream

My darling dream

No longer deferred

I’m ready to build you

I’m ready to invest in you

I’m ready to be with you

I am ready to see this through

My dream – P.S. I love you.

 

Zeni St. John

  • Obinna Ihedioha

    Thoughtful, splendid and captivating

    March 7, 2017 at 6:56 pm Reply
  • Iphie

    Another beautiful piece Zen.

    March 7, 2017 at 8:35 pm Reply
  • Sekyen

    Lovely just lovely! Well done Zen!

    March 7, 2017 at 9:38 pm Reply
  • Sekyen

    Lovely just lovely! Well done Zen! You’ve got a beautiful gift.

    March 7, 2017 at 9:39 pm Reply
  • Emeka Michael

    I have read this piece three times already. Absolutely beautiful! Ring ring…

    March 8, 2017 at 12:13 am Reply

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